Thursday, December 4, 2008

"You'd better not... or else!" stories

In the last post, I asked my cousin Holly to remind me of the story of when she got her finger chopped off as a little girl. I was remembering the story because I was trying to get my kids to be careful around sharp knives. (I asked Holly's permission to publish it for the blogosphere):

The story goes that Uncle Lowell was trying to remove a stump and gave it a go with an axe, but that wasn't working, so he went for a rope and truck while leaving Holly, aged 6, with Darren, aged 4, warned them not to touch. Darren was playing at Paul Bunyan while Holly was making homes for grubs out of wood chips, and as Holly put it, "We sort of collided in those separate plans, and voila! When Dad says don't touch, he means it." (Thankfully, her big sister Joy had the presence of mind to hold the remains and it was successfully sewn back on.)

I've always been a sucker for a good story, and it seems to help my children remember why they're not supposed to do that naughty whatever. Besides, although this sounds strange, my kids seem to like them- even the stories told with the intention of scaring them into obedience. One time, (ONE TIME!) I told the girls a story about a little boy named Lincoln (whom our family didn't even know personally- my sister told it), who was scalded by hot bathwater, and suddenly they wanted to hear it at bedtime for weeks.

Serious backfire, folks. I actually hate these kinds of stories, but I also want safety and immediate compliance to safety rules. I'm the type of girl who HATES watching the ten o'clock news because I start worrying about the people on Highway 114 who got hit-n-run by the guy going 90 in a 55 and will they get their deductible back??? (So you can imagine how it felt to watch the NYC news every night and hear about the crazy murders happening in that hood, Jersey City. Which is, in fact, where we were living.)

Some scare-ya-into-obedience stories are not so bad. There are a few components of a good story:
  • Obviously, it needs to be applicable to the situation (Holly's story isn't going to help motivate them put on their helmets.)
  • Needs to have an unhappy/painful outcome, but not so unhappy that it causes other phobias or nightmares.
  • Needs to not scare me- I loathe those times when moms sit around and tell freakish horrible stories about that child molester or this car accident that happened in the 2 seconds when they took off a seat belt.
  • Stories like this should be rarely told, or they run the risk of making your child paranoid or to ignore all parent tales.
My mother is not afraid of anything, so she rarely passed these along. My dad told one- his uncle was resting his elbow on the rolled-down window while driving, when a trailer came bumping by and smack! that was the end of his arm. Didn't really work with any of us, though. We still let our arms out the windows. Just like Tyler and the warts- nothing could stop that finger sucking.

But I'm curious. Do you or your parents have a good story? Bad one? Did it work?

8 comments:

Heidi @ Honeybear Lane said...

You should sit in a car with my mother-in-law for an hour and an hour later you will be convinced that I was crazy to marry into their family. And don't forget, she did this to me a month before I DID marry into their family. She has heard the most awful stories ever. So now I just take them with a grain of salt.

Joyful said...

My good friend tells stories about a boy, who had green teeth (because he never brushed them) and purple hair, who gets into all sorts of trouble when he doesn't listen/obey. It's silly enough to keep the kids attention, but also silly enough that she isn't re-living someone's Bad Thing That Happened. Our kids love to hear her stories, but I have no clue if it actually helps them obey or not.

The Yosts said...

Rocking back in a chair. My dad had a mission companion that was rocking back and fell. He ended up breaking his neck and became a quadriplegic.

I used to tell that story at the beginning of the school year to get my students to stop rocking in their chairs- it worked.

Grant and Stacy said...

We have NEVER been allowed to pierce our ears. My dad's a lawyer and said that he had a client that got her ear pierced, the needle hit a nerve, and her face was paralyzed. I'm not sure it is true, but when I was 20 (that's right, 20), I finally decided to pierce my upper ear (post break-up, pre-mission psychosis). I swear, I felt tingling in my face for a good hour or so. I never told my dad about it, and the earring was out within a couple of months!

Liesl said...

Those stories worked so well on me. I was scared to death of EVERYTHING. Dad would tell me all sorts of horror stories that I can't recall, but that may be one of the reasons why I'm so paranoid to this day.

Paula said...

I still remember the story about not hanging your arm out the window. That's a good one because that's very preventable behavior. But the stories I read in the newspaper that seem to defy all odds I try to forget. Or I try to remember that it's more dangerous to get out of bed in the morning than anything else you do.

Kent said...

After reading these comments, I'd like to offer the male perspective:

These stories didn't work on me because I either A. didn't believe them or B. figured the odds were pretty slim that it wasn't going to happen to me. And of course nothing ever happened. I think these stories don't have much meaning unless the probability is pretty high that something will happen, such as a bike accident. But becoming a quadriplegic from leaning back in your chair? I'm pretty sure that's made up. I think threats are more effective: "Don't lean back in your chair or I will turn you into a quadriplegic!"

Emily Leininger said...

Hey. Found your blog on Steph's.

I use stories all the time just to get my kids to be quiet. It doesn't seem to matter what I say. Sometimes they even stop crying to listen.