I Can't, I Can't, I Can't Stand Losing

The competitive genes at our home are alive and kicking, thanks to Mr. M. He is all of 4 years old, but very much in the thick of his winning streak. He sets the terms of the contest, declares "It's not a wace [race]," if he's losing, and proclaims "It's a tie" if he's obviously lost. When going upstairs, he starts the race when he's 2 steps from the top. Mawk, set, go...

Although I think that a little competition can be a motivating influence, I don't like to make everything a contest and don't like the negative feelings that ensue from one person winning and everyone else losing. I'm just wondering with Matthew, Why is it so important to have a winner in every situation? Why is it so important that HE is the winner? A few weeks ago, I was observing him getting dressed. He told me that the "boy arm" beat the "girl arm" going through the sleeve. You can probably guess which leg won. When I said that the polite thing to do was to let the girl go first at times, he said, "She likes being last." Where does he come up with this stuff? How do you curb chauvinism in so young a subject?

Sometimes, we play games together, and he does okay if he doesn't win. We used to play Memory and he would be very upset if I found a match he wanted to find, such as a pair of rocket ships or the hot dogs. Over time, he gets better at hoping his luck will change the next game and being happy with what he finds. He also likes being on a team, so that someone can help him win. I figure we need some practice losing so it's not so devastating to him and so irritating for the rest of us, like the following example:

This week, we went to the library and he found one of those horrendous (Let-me-sleep-with-my-eyes-open-while-reading-aloud-this-drivel) mass-produced books, Batman solves the case against the Joker, Volume LXIV. After lunch, he requested that I read it to him, and after doing so, I could not tell you one iota of the plot except that I know it falls into the formulaic yarns of other such books. At the end, there are a bunch of bat emblems pictured for you to find as you peruse through the book in future readings, since you definitely won't be reading it for entertainment value. Matthew and I went through them together. Every single time he couldn't find the bat picture and I pointed it out, he would say,

"I already saw that."

If I weren't so annoyed by his smug little face, I'd think that it's cute.