Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Solo Flight to Davis

Recently I took a quick trip to Davis, California to visit my grandparents. It seemed like traveling in time and instantly I felt ten years old, walking through the door to the familiar smells and sights. They built their house in 1955 (partly with their own hands) and have not changed it a whole lot since I visited it with my family of origin in younger days, although it is still very clean and in surprisingly good shape. It had been over 14 years since I'd been back to 821.

Although I have taken long-distance trips away from my children, this was the first that Mark wasn't with me or meeting up with me. Somehow I felt like people treated me differently, with neither a husband nor several small children along. I got lots of reading time, which was nice. This was my first time ever spending time with my grandparents without other relatives along, which changed the pace and conversations quite a bit.

I had hoped to be useful and whatnot during my trip, and I guess I was, minimally. My grandparents have always stressed the importance of being self-sufficient, and they are no exception. Mostly my contributions seemed to be with food- preparing and cleanup. It is interesting to see how much has or hasn't changed with them through the years. It's also interesting how spending time with relatives teaches you much about yourself. I discovered that my mother is actually a lot like her father: quiet, hardworking, interested in books and learning, and averse to small talk and superfluous conversation; yet sentimental in relationships. My grandpa has not slowed down as much as I thought he might in his 9th decade- older people are reputed to be slow, but he managed to be swifter than I in many things and kept up with traffic on the roads. He says that they have attained the perfect relationship- a deaf husband and a blind wife.

A few weeks from her 90th birthday, Grandma continues to be a great storyteller and likewise tries to maintain independence, despite her failing physical capabilities. The irony that I had the hardest time reconciling is her loss of interest and appetite for food. This is the woman who is most famous of all in my acquaintance for producing vast quantities of delicious food, then persuading even the most engorged eaters to have just a little more or risk offending the cook. The rules no longer apply, and it is just a little too ironic for me to swallow, mentally. She told me lots of tales from her youth, preparing food at the bakery before going to school and trying to scrub the doughnut frying smell out of her hands before class. She also talked about her time as a Navy WAVE during WWII, while Grandpa was overseas with the Air Force. Grandma still likes to look her best, even if she can't see herself (or anything else, for that matter). Sunday, she had me fix up her hair that a church member had arranged the day before, but Grandma still puts on her own lipstick.

I really enjoyed looking at the vast quantities of pictures they have collected over the years, from old ones of ancestors whom I have never met, to recent pictures of my cousins in their adventures, many of whom I hardly recognize now. In particular I enjoyed the older ones of my very youthful grandparents, mother, aunts, and uncles. Some of them were shockingly good looking (and not always modest!) and many photos have weathered well despite the lesser technology. I loved the one when my grandparents wore their wedding clothes on their 20th wedding anniversary. They traveled all over the world and lived in some exotic locations, always serving others and devoting much time to their faith.

We attended church on Sunday and I couldn't help but get a little emotional as I met people who have been blessed by my grandparents' service through the years. It was also sad to say goodbye, knowing that it might (really) be goodbye for many years yet.

8 comments:

Haymonds said...

Wow. Fourteen years since you'd been there, huh? Glad you got the chance to go. I'm fortunate that those trips are fairly frequent, but I still always feel that "this" time will prolly be the last...

E B said...

Hooray for 821! I'm glad you could visit with no distractions. Those pictures sound mighty interesting!

Heidi @ Honeybear Lane said...

I wish I could have gone with you...especially having just finished reading the family history, they really are interesting people. Grandma is looking pretty hard of seeing in that picture.

Joyful said...

I'm glad you got to go, that was the hardest part of the summer for me--saying goodbye with the feeling that this time it is really, really for reals.

Paula said...

I enjoyed reading about your trip and am glad you had that opportunity. I'm hoping we can go again next summer with Everett after he turns 12 but I'm never sure what will be new in Davis.

Lorana said...

Ever since Grandpa got leukemia 12(!) years ago, I've always thought each visit was the last. It has to happen sometime, but I feel like anything we got to do with G&G in the last 12 years was a bonus. This is kind of a weird thing to say/think about, but I hope neither of them has to do without the other very long.

Maren said...

What a neat trip, and what a sweet tribute to your grandparents. I'm afraid I'm not on track to fit into my wedding dress for our 20th...

Kent said...

I was just thinking how the pressure is on for David to return from his mission, get married, and have a kid before our grandparents die. Can you imagine? A picture with your great-great-grandparents? Amazing!