Monday, January 25, 2010

If you don't share, you are a bum

When I was a little girl, my family used to listen to several Sesame Street records. (That makes me sound really old, but I'm really not. It's just that my family was committed to records for several years and didn't give them up until the late 80s. In fact, my younger sister -now 25- used to listen to Bedtime for Frances so often that my entire family had it memorized. ) So anyway, these records had a lot of really great songs on them, including some classics such as "C is for Cookie" and some lesser-known ones like "Roosevelt Franklin" (a character long since retired from the show).

Keep in mind, these records were made long before Sesame Street was PC, which is why one of the song's chorus ended in the title of today's subject: "If you don't share, you are a bum." I doubt that would make today's cut in any PBS Kids' production, but especially not the acutely socially-aware Sesame Street. In any case, the line from that song has been going through my head a lot these days. I think it has something to do with a concept we are struggling with at our house.

I have four children, all of whom are wonderful and intelligent in their own way. However, with every person there are some weaknesses, of which family members become intimately acquainted. Two of my children share both a weakness and a strength- each is very compassionate, giving affection and condolences when another person is sad, hurt, or frustrated. But each of these two has difficulty in sharing.

It makes me remember when I first realized a parallel between paying tithing/ giving back to the Lord and parenting. I had made some cookies and gave my children some. I had not yet eaten any and asked one child if I could have a bite of hers. Her response was to give me a tiny crumb off an edge. "Wait a minute!" I said. "I made this cookie! I gave it to you! And all you can do is to grudgingly give me back a crumb?"

Still, we struggle. It is so hard to share. With parents, with siblings, with anyone. Why are two of my children generally generous, and two of them not? And how can I encourage sharing and teach it without it sending them more in the other direction?

8 comments:

Heidi @ Honeybear Lane said...

I have no clue how to encourage sharing, since my kid is still in the yelling his head off phase. But the cookie analogy works great for tithing! Incidentally, I don't remember listening to those records.

Mel said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww3RAgnVOIs

There's a slew of Roosevelt Franklin videos AND sharing videos from Sesame Street on YouTube. Stick them in front of the computer and replay all the sharing ones--my kids are loving it as I'm going through them all! Hopefully the message will sink in.

Brian said...

You could try Ma's classic "hands off, vultures!"

That was a darn good parallel to tithin'. A good way to think of it.

"My name is Roosevelt Franklin!"

E B said...

Good thinking. What works for my three year old (sort of) is if this something to share is in a bag, she can't hold it unless she shares the contents.

Lorana said...

I miss the old Sesame Street.

You know, we are not THAT old, but when you think about how many technological generations ago vinyl records were in use, I'm sure our kids will think we were from the stone age.

My oldest does that same thing- pinch off a couple crumbs to share. I wish I could help with the sharing issue.

Paula said...

One theory I've heard which I have trouble implementing (old habits die hard) is to point out the effect your child's actions have on someone else. "Look how sad so-and-so feels when you said you wouldn't share with them. She's crying!" And you don't force anyone to do something but just persuade them. Gradually this helps them become more empathetic as you teach them to notice other people's feelings and freely give. But what I usually do is condemn them--"That was rude! At our house, we share!" And require compliance. Maybe someday I'll stop overreacting.

Rose said...

When my kids won't share something I take it away from both of them . . . . kinda mean but it works pretty good.

Also, liked the pics of the girls playing soccer - they're getting so big! We will starting soccer this fall and I have mixed feelings about it for all the reasons you listed!

Bruce Hansen said...

That old Sesame Street record did have some socially conscious songs, remember "Skin I'm In"?

I know letters and my numbers
Oh yes I do
And maybe better than you (Bum Bum-bum BUM!)
I like the people wearin' my kind of skin
You know I love the skin I'm in